I’m writing about couple counselling today. I see many couples for face to face counselling as well as for Skype counselling. There is certainly a place for Skype counselling regardless of what many counsellors say about using modern day technology to counsel people. I have found that both therapies can be equally beneficial for couples and for individuals.
In my experience as a therapist the main reason for relationship breakdown is the lack of communication within the relationship, a healthy relationship is built on communication. Usually when two people meet who are attracted to each other they can spend a lot of time just sitting up talking all night. How many times have you heard maybe a friend or a member of your family say “we just sat up all night talking” maybe you’ve even done it? This seems to be common in the early part of relationship building, the early stage of ‘finding all about each other’.
How many couples a few years down the line together just sit up talking to each other all night? As time goes by there are two things that can happen in a relationship, the couple can grow apart or they can grow together. Most couples who grow together still communicate, they may not stay up all night talking but they still communicate with one another. They are still supportive and genuinely care about each other, they will listen to each other, remember, there’s a difference between listening and hearing. They may even tell each other what is going on for them and how they are feeling instead of keeping it all to themselves, they communicate and work as a team instead of growing apart as individuals.
The comedian Lee Evans does a hilarious take on couple relationships in his shows which is all about the lack of communication after a time together. What makes it so funny is that the audience identifies with what he is talking about.
Although there are many other issues that couples need to work on if they want to grow together, communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
